Ellen Hartson, LISW, Life Coach
• Wednesday, September 09th, 2009

You’ve probably all seen the short video that’s been going around the internet that lists famous people who failed and ends with the line, “If you haven’t failed, you haven’t lived” ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT4Fu-XDygw).  Very inspirational.  But applying it to my life was something altogether different.

We have a saying in Martha Beck Life Coach Training.  It’s “be willing to suck at it”.  That’s the way we are supposed to learn.  Be willing to just get out there and do it.  Go talk in front of groups.  Coach as many people as you can to learn how to be a better coach.  Okay, all that is just fine in theory. I guess that because I was a therapist for 20 years, the idea of coaching wasn’t that scary.   But when it came time to do new things that I’ve never done, like create a website, promote myself, go on social networking sites….my inner lizard went bonkers (that’s Martha Beck’s name for the part of our reptilian brain that always broadcasts lack and attack).  I didn’t want to suck!!!

But then I remembered (thanks to my coaching buddy Melanie) what Martha Beck has been talking to us about all summer.  She has been studying the brain research around talent and a concept called “deep practice” (see Daniel Coyle’s book, The Talent Code).  There are several elements in this theory, but I can simplify by saying that a key component is that people become extremely skilled at something, not because of innate talent, but because they learned from failing.  Each time they practiced mastering a new part of the skill, they felt their mistake and corrected it.  Then they did it again, and again, and again.  Until they got it perfect.  This practice increases a substance in the brain called “myelin” which is directly correlated with acquisition of talent.   He uses Tiger Woods and Michelangelo as examples.

So, I’m not planning to be a perfect coach.  But I am willing to suck so that I gain more skill every time.  Are you willing to suck?  Why or why not?

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